Letting go sounds simple.

Almost too simple.

“Just release it.” They said.

“Move on.” They said.

“Trust the process.” They said.

But anyone who has ever actually tried to let go of control, of certainty, of a version of life that almost fits, knows the truth:

Letting go is one of the most courageous acts a person can take.

Not because it’s dramatic.
Not because it’s impulsive.
But because it asks you to face the one thing we spend most of our lives avoiding, fear.

Why Letting Go Feels So Hard

At its core, letting go isn’t about loss.

It’s about uncertainty.

When you release something such as control, a relationship, a job, an identity, you’re not just giving up what was. You’re stepping into what isn’t guaranteed yet.

And that’s where fear lives.

Fear asks questions like:

What if this is as good as it gets?
What if I regret this?
What if I can’t recreate what I’m walking away from?

This is why letting go of control feels really difficult. Control creates the illusion of safety. It convinces us that if we can just manage the outcome, we can avoid pain.

But control creates tension and over time, that tension becomes heavy.

When Holding On Becomes a Weight

There’s a moment when the thing you’re holding onto stops supporting you and starts pulling you backward.
It doesn’t happen all at once.
At first, it feels like loyalty.
Then commitment.
Then responsibility.
And one day, without realizing it, it becomes a weigh

Not only does it hold you down, but it limits what you can reach.

The truth is,

You cannot hold onto what’s next if your hands are already full.

Letting go doesn't mean that you are giving up. It means that you are making room.

The Breath You Forgot You Were Holding

Think about breathing.

Every inhale supplies your body with what it needs to live such as oxygen which fuels your ability to walk, talk, think, and create energy.

But the inhale only works because of the exhale.

Exhaling removes waste.
It reduces stress.
It lowers blood pressure.
It creates balance.

Without exhaling, you suffocate.

Letting go works the same way.

When you refuse to release what is mentally, emotionally, or physically holding you back, you block your ability to receive.

You just need to exhale.

Letting Go of Control Is Letting Life Unfold

At its deepest level, letting go means releasing the need to control outcomes.

It’s choosing to stop micromanaging how life should look and allowing it to unfold without your constant interference.

This doesn’t mean that you are passive. It means that you have faith.

It means shifting from:

Why is this happening to me?

To:

How might this be happening for me?

It’s the difference between fighting reality and working with it.

And that shift changes everything.

The Belief System Beneath the Fear

Someone’s inability to let go is rarely about the thing itself.

It’s about what they believe will happen without it.

Letting go becomes difficult when:

You don’t trust yourself to adapt
You don’t trust the future
You believe the best parts of life are behind you

Holding on to the past often means doubting your ability to build something new.

So how do you stop it?

Abigayle’s Story: When “Fine” Isn’t Fulfillment

Abigayle isn’t in a toxic relationship.
That’s what makes it complicated.
Her partner is kind. He’s stable. He’s her best friend.
They laugh. They’re comfortable. They’re safe.
For a long time, that felt like enough.
Lately, something feels off.
She tells herself she loves him. And she does.
At first, she assumes it’s boredom. Maybe she just wants something more exciting.
But when she slows down, she realizes something most people never stop to ask.
Sometimes discomfort isn’t asking us to leave.
Sometimes it’s asking us to look closer.
Instead of blaming the relationship, she takes responsibility.
And that’s when the truth surfaces.
She hasn’t been growing.
She stopped exploring her interests.
She stopped challenging herself.
The restlessness wasn’t about him.
It was about her.
Now she’s faced with a more honest question.
Not “Should I leave?” but “Is this a relationship where I can grow and be supported as I do?”
Sometimes, after real effort and reflection, two people realize they are not meant to grow in the same direction.
And sometimes, they discover they can.
Both outcomes are valid.
What matters is that the decision comes from clarity, not avoidance or blame.

Letting go is not the same as leaving.

Leaving is an action. Letting go is a mindset.

Not Everything You Let Go Of Is Bad

We talk a lot about releasing what’s toxic.
But some of the hardest situations to evaluate are not bad at all.

The job that looks good on paper but leaves you quietly dissatisfied.
The routine that works but no longer stretches you.
The relationship that feels safe but does not invite growth.

This is where discernment matters.

Not every feeling of restlessness is a sign to walk away.
Sometimes it is an invitation to look inward before looking for an exit.

Try this:

Ask yourself what you are craving.

Ask yourself why you are craving it.
Ask yourself whether that need could be met through growth rather than leaving.

Sometimes letting go is about releasing the belief that the problem lives outside of you.

Clarity comes when you take responsibility before you take action.

Questions That Create Clarity

If you are struggling to let go, or wondering whether you even should, ask yourself:

If nothing changed, how would I feel about this five years from now?
Am I staying because this aligns with who I am becoming, or because it feels familiar?
Am I avoiding discomfort, or responding to something that truly feels misaligned?
What part of me feels underused, unseen, or unexplored?
What would growth look like where I am as opposed to deciding to leave?

Final Thoughts: The Bravery of Release

Courage isn’t the absence of fear.
It’s the willingness to face it.
Letting go asks you to name the fear, sit with it, and decide whether it gets to lead your life.
When you finally release control, expectations, or the need to know exactly how it all works out something shifts, you feel lighter.
More spacious.
More available for what’s next.
Life isn’t asking you to cling.
It’s asking you to trust your ability to breathe again.
T
o exhale.
And to believe that what’s coming can only arrive once you make room for it.

**Almost Goodbye** is a guided workbook for the woman who has let go… almost.
It helps you get honest, break the cycle, and release what no longer fits without shame, rushing, or forcing.
You don’t have to carry the past weight into your future.
You can learn more here by clicking the link below.

Learn more About The Almost goodbye Workbook