Staying Present: The Cost of Living in the Future (and How to Come Back to Now)

The other day I was unloading all my thoughts—business goals, job worries, baby hopes, purpose questions, all of it—to my naturopath. She's like a therapist with vitamins. I kept going and going, and when I finally paused, she looked at me and gently said, “You need to stop living in the future.”

And that hit me.

She wasn’t wrong.

I’ve always been a daydreamer. A planner. A visionary. But somewhere along the way, dreaming turned into detachment. I wasn't just looking ahead—I was living ahead. I wasn’t savoring the life I had; I was sprinting toward the one I didn’t.

That’s when I had to admit the truth: I had been living like I was behind. Behind on marriage. Behind on motherhood. Behind on building my business. Behind on everything I thought I “should’ve” had figured out by now.

But here’s what I realized…

I wasn’t behind. I was just on a different timeline. A timeline that didn’t need to look like anyone else’s. A timeline I had the power to honor—if I could only learn how to be present.

Why We Stay in the Future (Even When the Present is Pretty Good)

For me, it’s fear. Fear that I’ll run out of time. Fear that I’ve waited too long. Fear that I won’t get the things I deeply desire. But if I’m being real… future-living is also a defense mechanism. If I’m always busy planning what’s next, I don’t have to sit with the discomfort of what isn’t happening right now.

Sound familiar?

You might be doing the same thing. Here’s why we often escape into “what’s next”:

Societal Pressure: The world is loud about when you should marry, when you should succeed, and what you should look like doing it.

Comparison Culture: Social media tricks us into thinking everyone else is further along.

Unmet Desires: It’s easy to want to fast-forward to the life we think will finally make us happy.

Perfectionism: We’re always chasing the “ideal” version of ourselves and forgetting to love the version that exists today.

Validation Addiction: We’re told our worth lies in achievements, not in presence.

Fear of Stagnation: We’ve linked growth to movement—even if that movement is frantic and exhausting.

But here’s the deeper truth: Constantly living in the future doesn’t make you more prepared. It makes you less available—for joy, connection, gratitude, and peace.

What Happens When You Don’t Stay Present

You miss it.

You miss the very life you prayed for because you’re already onto the next thing. You never let yourself celebrate. You never feel “enough.” And worst of all—you teach your nervous system to associate success with pressure, not peace.

So… How Do You Come Back to Now?

Not with a cute quote or a bubble bath. Presence isn’t passive. It’s a practice. One that takes time and honesty. Here’s where you start:

Do Daily Check-Ins: Ask yourself, “Where am I right now—mentally and emotionally?” Bring yourself back with a deep breath.

Practice Gratitude on Purpose: Name five things going right in this moment. Not in the future. Not when you “make it.” Now.

Reframe the Timeline: Late for what? Behind who? Look at your life with compassionate eyes.

Limit the Comparison Triggers: Social media isn’t evil—but it is a highlight reel. Know when to scroll away.

Honor Your Desires Without Worshipping Them: It’s okay to want more, but don’t let your wants rob you of your now.

Validate Yourself First: You don’t need to “achieve” to be worthy. You already are. Let your goals come from that place, not in search of it.

Let Go of What Ifs: The future is not your job. Your job is to show up well for this moment.

Let’s Get Honest: You’re Not Missing Out—You’re Just Not Tuning In

The present isn’t always perfect. But it is all we ever truly have. And most of us don’t realize how good our now is until it becomes a memory we wish we could return to. You don’t have to earn peace later. You can choose it now. Right here. Right where you are.

Take a breath. Drop your shoulders. Look around. This moment? It’s worthy of your attention.

If you're tired of feeling like you're behind—even when you're doing your best—this is your moment to pause.

Want to start showing up like Candice—grounded, focused, and aligned?

The Reflect and Realign Workbook Companion gives you the tools to move from clarity to consistency.

Learn how to anchor yourself in the now, take aligned action toward your goals, and stay present through life’s pivots and pressures.
Because your future deserves the version of you who’s all the way here.